dear bully

you hide behind a number and expect me to react
but im a little bit smarter than you and i know how to hack
not that i needed too you made it pretty obvious
i have you now right where i want you
youre not to good at this bullying stuff i think youre still a newbie
but you went too pair youll pay the price in juvie
the things you said a friend doesnt say and i am more that what you think
because if you hate me and you dont need me then i will never need you
all the clues are adding up and its getting very clear
that youre lies are paper thin and the end of this is near
youre entitled to your opinion about me
but you have no right to try and form mine
you think youre stronger, superior, and smarter
but all i have to do is fight a little bit harder
and then you will be out of my life
forever


PS thanks for the writing insparation!

fragments of a memory

you often try to look back not in fear, but with the strength to face whats behind you. sometimes its a memory of something you regret. people forget that if something wrong you did never happened, everything else would be differnet. you may think nothing good has come or will come, but you have to cry to feel better, you have to scream to let it go, and its always darkest before the dawn. sometimes you might wish you didnt hurt someone, but maybe if you apologize your friendship will be stronger than it ever could without revealing how much you need that person in your apology. maybe you regret breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, but think you would never have met someone else in your life, or maybe that person will turn out to be not at the person you wanted. looks can be decieving, and we all are the same basic layout. its how were formatted and how bold our unique fonts are. we cant even control who we are, or what we want, we just chose what we do, and if we'll get it. you could be the most beautiful shade of turcoiquse with brillant streaks of indigo, but there will always be someone who hates the color blue.

summer

new found freckles
natural highlights
so much sunshine i could swim in it
soaking up the sun and loving life
late night facials and night swimming
meeting new people and making more music
singing every chance i get
swimming and yoga and dance oh my
its almost over, but falls so far away

long hair

for about a month now ive been trying to grow out my hair to the bottom of my rib cage. i got short layers on  the top of my head but kept the length around my shoulders on new years. i used to have blonde hair but i dyed it back to my normal medium brown. my hair is mid rib cage on the longest hair and has grown 5 1/2 in. in 8 months. i dont know why i want long hair so bad. ive reached out and bought special shampoo and conditioner. ive changed my diet so im eating more biotin and protein. i almost bought some "hair nails and skin" pills but my mom said she'd to do some research first. im not alone in this, my best friend is on the same journey her hair is about 2 in. longer than mine at the moment. i guess you could say the "popular girls" in school are all growing their hair out too, my favorite actress has long hair to her waist. im also angry with my layers, it doesnt let me do as many hair styles as i'd like. popularity is the fact everyone wants to be you, but  you wouldnt want to be them, so you're "above" them. im glad at my school the mean girls arent actually mean, the only time i was ever bullied was by some girls a year older than me but even then my friends stood up for me and it wasnt even a problem. i wouldnt call myself in the popular crowd but im not much of an outcast. i  keep to myself, have fun with people who i can have fun with, and get good grades. i cant say i dont want to be popular, everyone does, but its not my first priority. how did i get here from long hair?

Monday morning

Of course its summer, so Monday mornings aren't the same,  but they make me think about other things. I only spend about 6 hours in school for nearly 3/4 of the year, but all my memories from school, people school, and teachers are such a strong part  of me. i can still remember when my fourth grade teacher ms.escobar told me not to worry about an assignment were doing because i would get a perfect grade. i remember the look on mrs. daniels face when i was her first student to win an essay contest. of course having  seven different classes made teachers stand out less but ive made it clear mrs. rosenbaum stood out regardless. seventh grade lots of my teachers were more work less play but the year still wouldnt have been the same without any of them. little things break down to have the tiniest impact, where i sat strengthened and weakened some of my friendships. but everything can change still, i still have the rest of my life through another historical figure project :( and more reading as homework(yay!). i plan on making more memories and writing my mind like this whenever i can.

love, pain, and angry Japanese samurai woman

love doesnt give you warnings unless its too far away for you to remember them when it comes. it tricks us into seeing things that arent there, and takes are our minds and gives us a different perspective, that you control if its for the better or the worse.

pain is only there if your expected comfort, no one an expect to be comforted forever, if you make yourself so that no one on the outside can hurt you, you may end up hurting yourself.

a pearl face arises 

moonlight gleaming off her sword

waiting for revenge

the Ellen show

hands down, the best talk show ever. ellen is an optimistic, hilarious character. she is extremly generous and always entertaining to watch. after watching about four episodes back to back on a saturday night and being just as satisfied as i would if i had spent it with a friend, i knew i had to blog about it. even if i did spend it with a friend, i would probably make them watch it with me ;)
P.S. Mrs. Rosenbaum! i was reading your page on the school website and read you have another grandchild! i hope Kyler grows up to look to you for inspiration like i do : )